When I heard that Floetry were having a concert I was so excited and knew I had to get hold of tickets even though they were sold out! But one thing you will get to know about me is I never accept ‘no’ for an answer and I’m not easily defeated.
So the hunt for tickets began! ‘Floetry’ was one of the albums that carried me through my teens and bought back so many memories of the early stages of living independently. So attendance was a must!
The concert in a nutshell was amazing! It was spiritually uplifting and reinforced me and the American boy I met (did I not mention that I met another young gun, could this be my American boy?) just how important it is to fill your spirit with positive, meaningful and respectful lyrical content! All in contrary to my last escapade at Gilgamesh!
That evening still buzzing from the concert, I got into bed and reflected on the performance and emotions that Natalie and Marsha stirred up in me during the concert. The energy and vibe was mind blowing, during the concert Natalie and Marsha conversed with us and requested we repeated after her “I am blessed its not my time yet, its my time to live”.
As the Brixton Academy and I chanted these words over and over again my biggest fear came back to me. DEATH. It lays so heavy on my mind right now more so than ever and I am thinking this is because I have a dependent as well as the responsibility for older relatives.
Death is a very sore and sensitive subject and when I think about it whilst laying next to my son tears began to build up. I start to question myself how can I protect my son even in death even if it were to prematurely arrive or even when he’s old enough to take care of himself.
So one of the things on the top of my 2016 to do list is to get a will organised it’s been on there for three years, I must add but why?
As I speak to elders and my peer group very few have organised a will.
Why is this? Do you have a will? Do you know if your parents or grandparents have a will? Does your friends have a will? Is it a black thing that we don’t do wills? I don’t know if my mum has a will but surely isn’t that something that I should know.
As I am a property owner I feel more obligated and convicted to get this organised but if I wasn’t a home owner would the conviction still be there? I think it should be as a will is very important as it dictates and allows you to stipulate what and how you want things organised once you or your loved one dies.
I have been to quite a few black funerals and always heard mutters from the attendees that family members are in disagreement over money or funeral arrangements. My aunt once told me she overheard a women at a funeral saying the deceased had 12 children with five different women and his house in Jamaica and in the UK were only going to the women he was with before his death and her kids but the truth is he was closer to his other children. My aunt thought it was unfair. In another situation, a woman had been estranged from her children for many years and now she had died the kids were fighting over her estate with her partner she had at the time. They went to the house and demanded he left. Had a thorough will been in place, there would not be any animosity or confusion at a time of such grief!
Having heard all these stories I really need to get my “ish” in order, as they say! There is no way I would want my son or immediate family to be in disarray due to my procrastination about getting my affairs in order! I am a very organised woman but for some reason on this matter I have dragged my feet.
What is astonishing is, why is it when I speak to my Caucasian counterparts they have all their affairs in order?
I know you’re thinking as I did, it’s probably because they have valuables to hand, or a legacy, or cars, or estates, or money from heritage but this is not always the case. They like us are working class white people but possibly they have heard their parents received monetary assistance in a will that possibly helped their parents get their first home or are they not grown to be fearful of death and talking about the what ifs.
Whatever the reasons are for the procrastination of black people and preparing wills, shouldn’t the push be to know that whatever you have to give will be given in an orderly manner. That with a will your family will have clear instructions on how to organise your financial, personal and funeral arrangements.
One thing is for sure I do not want death to come my way any sooner than God has intended however I do want my son to have a clear, uncomplicated access to my achievements from my years of hard work.
I know it’s not a topic we like to discuss or think about but it’s a topic that I think we all need to be aware of and address matters sooner rather than later!